Hello, is everyone out there happy? I'm not :(
I have been so busy with school. Life has really just been whole mess. I've been a mess. Everyday is a battle with myself just to step out the house. I swear to my face every time i have a glance of myself in a reflection. I can't take looking like this anymore. And yet I've not been doing anything but complaining. What's wrong with me? What's going on?
It's time to set everything right.
In details, I have been treating myself wrongly. Because of all the stress I'm feeling, I give in to everything I want, and even if i don't want it. Chocolates, chocolates, bread, cakes, muffin, pies, every bad food you can imagine. Someone that says he loves me, yet unknown if he meant it as a friend or romantically has been telling me I'm not fat and that I'm beautiful the way I am. I love him. And i trust him, but I can't exactly trust his words. He buys me food and treats me well, how am i suppose to say no to those things, even if it means getting fatter? I can talk to him for hours. Even through the whole night. And that makes me not workout as well. It's been going on for months. I have not told a single friend about this, about me and him. Why? It's complicated. I wish I have someone to share my thoughts with. I wish I could feel beautiful. I wish I could be me.
I have been so busy with school. Life has really just been whole mess. I've been a mess. Everyday is a battle with myself just to step out the house. I swear to my face every time i have a glance of myself in a reflection. I can't take looking like this anymore. And yet I've not been doing anything but complaining. What's wrong with me? What's going on?
It's time to set everything right.
In details, I have been treating myself wrongly. Because of all the stress I'm feeling, I give in to everything I want, and even if i don't want it. Chocolates, chocolates, bread, cakes, muffin, pies, every bad food you can imagine. Someone that says he loves me, yet unknown if he meant it as a friend or romantically has been telling me I'm not fat and that I'm beautiful the way I am. I love him. And i trust him, but I can't exactly trust his words. He buys me food and treats me well, how am i suppose to say no to those things, even if it means getting fatter? I can talk to him for hours. Even through the whole night. And that makes me not workout as well. It's been going on for months. I have not told a single friend about this, about me and him. Why? It's complicated. I wish I have someone to share my thoughts with. I wish I could feel beautiful. I wish I could be me.
