So 2 days ago was an extremely dark period. I almost killed myself. I was so close to stepping out of my bedroom window. I was so depressed that everything, every fucking thing in life just ends up the exact way that I prayed not to. As a christian I believe that if I commit suicide I would end up in hell. And as much shit as you are going through on earth, hell is not worth it. So I cried my guts out. I cried so loud, but since everyone else was sleeping, no one could hear me. I prayed to God that he would just take me to heaven already. Take my life away when I was sleeping, so I went to sleep. And when I woke up and realized I wasn't dead yet, I started crying even louder.
Enough about that, cause basically this is a body and weight obsessed blog. No one wants to listen to my thoughts of death and suicide or how depressed I am.
So, I lost weight. I'm 57.8kg now. I've not seen a "57" in quite a long time. Which makes me 127.2 in pounds. I just realized how pathetic I sound. Heh.
Yes I have been eating lesser, but I'm not sure if the weight loss is due to me taking the scissors and snipping my hair off. Sigh.