Blog started since 16 March 2011
HW: 137lbs | LW: 114lbs | CW(Jan 29 2014): 120lbs | GW1: 110lbs | GW2: 99lbs
Height: 5' 4"
Age: 21 going on 22

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Weight update & depression

So 2 days ago was an extremely dark period. I almost killed myself. I was so close to stepping out of my bedroom window. I was so depressed that everything, every fucking thing in life just ends up the exact way that I prayed not to. As a christian I believe that if I commit suicide I would end up in hell. And as much shit as you are going through on earth, hell is not worth it. So I cried my guts out. I cried so loud, but since everyone else was sleeping, no one could hear me. I prayed to God that he would just take me to heaven already. Take my life away when I was sleeping, so I went to sleep. And when I woke up and realized I wasn't dead yet, I started crying even louder.

Enough about that, cause basically this is a body and weight obsessed blog. No one wants to listen to my thoughts of death and suicide or how depressed I am.

So, I lost weight. I'm 57.8kg now. I've not seen a "57" in quite a long time. Which makes me 127.2 in pounds. I just realized how pathetic I sound. Heh.
Yes I have been eating lesser, but I'm not sure if the weight loss is due to me taking the scissors and snipping my hair off. Sigh.


  1. courage! We all have ups and downs, and it is true that in some periods it's more low than high. But everything changes at a time! It is a survivor who tell you that .. So take your courage in both hands and enjoy life! Your blog is AWESOME by the way, I love the fact that you love Kaya Scodelario :)

    1. Thank you! Yes Kaya is so pretty and such a great actress. The characters she plays is so relatable, at the same time she's actually just a normal everyday girl :)